She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
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Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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