that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
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if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
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It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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