At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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