My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have started to decorate penises.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize