I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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