he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize