85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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