my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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