Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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