I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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