Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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