naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize