Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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