We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
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If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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