Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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