I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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