I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize