you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
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I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
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Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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