u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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