he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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