her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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