Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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