I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I love you. Go after that dick
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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