And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
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I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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