dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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