Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
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Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
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If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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