If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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