You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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