I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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