The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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