I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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