My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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