don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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