I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize