that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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