i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize