So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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