I just pynch a tree in the face
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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