I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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