He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
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We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
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I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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