??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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