HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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