I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize