8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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