no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize