Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize