So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
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he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
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Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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