Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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