I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize