i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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